5 things that are essential to maintain Godly friendships
When I first got saved one of the first things that God did was stripped away some of my friendships. My friends at the time had a big impact on the old me. I knew if I wanted to have any chance to become like Christ I needed to let go of those old friendships. Friendships has a huge impact on your life and they determine your course of direction in life. 1 Corinthians 5:33 says "Do not be misled, Bad company corrupts good character." It is very important that we link ourselves with the right people so that we can go in the right direction.. Our friendships are suppose to bring out the best in us and bring us closer to God. Since God has brought new friends into my life I want to share with you five things that I learned that are essential for a Godly friendship.
1.) Self Love.
I know your probably wondering what does self love has to do with having a Godly friendship. The answer is a lot. In order for us to love someone we must first learn to love ourselves. We can't pour out love if we don't have it. Self love starts with loving God first , then ourselves, then our neighbors. Mark 12:30,31 says Love your God with all your heart and with all of your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. "The second is to love your neighbor as yourself". There is no greater commandment than these. Self love starts with loving God first, then you learn to love yourself then others. In order for someone to be a good friend to you they must take care of themselves first by being connected to God. They must learn the love of God first, and then receive His love so that they can share it with you.
Its important to note that no friend is going to be perfect. We all go through things, we fall short and we have our struggles; but its important that we seek the help that we need and don't park there. There needs to be a willingness to want to heal, grow and change, So that you'll be able to maintain a healthy relationship with yourself and others as well. For example I once was in a friendship where my friend was going through a lot in Her marriage. This had been going on for years. Instead of Her healing from that pain she became bitter. It began to show up in our friendship as well. She became bitter towards me and starting trying to get me to think that all men where horrible (including my husband). Because things weren't going well in Her life it was hard for Her to be happy for me. She was so full of negativity, and bitterness that all that she had to offer to our friendship was negativity and bitterness. That friendship had became very draining and I had to make the decision to let go. When you're are constantly feeling drained in a relationship that can be a red flag. A good healthy friendships knows how to separate their pain from the relationship and they also understand the importance of self love and integrity.
2.) Trust.
Trust is such a huge thing when it comes to friendships. A friendships should be a safe place where you could go and be vulnerable without being judged. You should be able to laugh, cry and talk about anything without any reservations. A good way to know if someone is a trustworthy person is observing How they are with others, especially when it comes to those that are closes to them. I always tell myself ,if someone is always talking about someone else then they are more than likely to talk about me as well.
We all go through enough as Christians so a trustworthy friend that we could rely on in time of need and also be able to rely on them to tell us the truth in a loving way is essential.
3.)Boundaries.
A Godly friendship should have boundaries. Good boundaries in a friendship is respecting when someone says no, Respecting their feelings, Respecting them when y'all don't agree, Respecting each other time and space, and not pressuring them to do things that they are uncomfortable doing. Boundaries are very safe for friendships that way it leaves no room for strife and bitterness. It keeps the relationship healthy and respectful.
4.)Growth.
A Godly friendship should push you closer to God and help you become a better version of yourself. A good friend gives you good sound wisdom and advice according to the word of God. They are not afraid to tell you the truth even when they know it may hurt a little. They are great at holding you accountable for you actions. A good friend should have a good influence on your life and they should make you want to be better just by being around them. Proverbs 27:17 says As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. Growth is always a good sign that you are in the right relationship.
5.) Support.
A Godly friendship should offer you lots of support. Romans 12:15 tells us to rejoice with those who rejoice, so that means a supportive friend is genuinely happy when you are happy, Especially when it comes to your achievements, promotions, and new endeavors they should want to rejoice with you. They should want to be there to support you with important moments of your life, although they may not be able to make every single event you should see a considered effort on their part. A good friend is there to support you during hard times as well as the good times. A good friend accepts your flaws and loves you for who you are. Even when they don't agree with you a good friend will always be there.
1.) Self Love.
I know your probably wondering what does self love has to do with having a Godly friendship. The answer is a lot. In order for us to love someone we must first learn to love ourselves. We can't pour out love if we don't have it. Self love starts with loving God first , then ourselves, then our neighbors. Mark 12:30,31 says Love your God with all your heart and with all of your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. "The second is to love your neighbor as yourself". There is no greater commandment than these. Self love starts with loving God first, then you learn to love yourself then others. In order for someone to be a good friend to you they must take care of themselves first by being connected to God. They must learn the love of God first, and then receive His love so that they can share it with you.
Its important to note that no friend is going to be perfect. We all go through things, we fall short and we have our struggles; but its important that we seek the help that we need and don't park there. There needs to be a willingness to want to heal, grow and change, So that you'll be able to maintain a healthy relationship with yourself and others as well. For example I once was in a friendship where my friend was going through a lot in Her marriage. This had been going on for years. Instead of Her healing from that pain she became bitter. It began to show up in our friendship as well. She became bitter towards me and starting trying to get me to think that all men where horrible (including my husband). Because things weren't going well in Her life it was hard for Her to be happy for me. She was so full of negativity, and bitterness that all that she had to offer to our friendship was negativity and bitterness. That friendship had became very draining and I had to make the decision to let go. When you're are constantly feeling drained in a relationship that can be a red flag. A good healthy friendships knows how to separate their pain from the relationship and they also understand the importance of self love and integrity.
2.) Trust.
Trust is such a huge thing when it comes to friendships. A friendships should be a safe place where you could go and be vulnerable without being judged. You should be able to laugh, cry and talk about anything without any reservations. A good way to know if someone is a trustworthy person is observing How they are with others, especially when it comes to those that are closes to them. I always tell myself ,if someone is always talking about someone else then they are more than likely to talk about me as well.
We all go through enough as Christians so a trustworthy friend that we could rely on in time of need and also be able to rely on them to tell us the truth in a loving way is essential.
3.)Boundaries.
A Godly friendship should have boundaries. Good boundaries in a friendship is respecting when someone says no, Respecting their feelings, Respecting them when y'all don't agree, Respecting each other time and space, and not pressuring them to do things that they are uncomfortable doing. Boundaries are very safe for friendships that way it leaves no room for strife and bitterness. It keeps the relationship healthy and respectful.
4.)Growth.
A Godly friendship should push you closer to God and help you become a better version of yourself. A good friend gives you good sound wisdom and advice according to the word of God. They are not afraid to tell you the truth even when they know it may hurt a little. They are great at holding you accountable for you actions. A good friend should have a good influence on your life and they should make you want to be better just by being around them. Proverbs 27:17 says As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. Growth is always a good sign that you are in the right relationship.
5.) Support.
A Godly friendship should offer you lots of support. Romans 12:15 tells us to rejoice with those who rejoice, so that means a supportive friend is genuinely happy when you are happy, Especially when it comes to your achievements, promotions, and new endeavors they should want to rejoice with you. They should want to be there to support you with important moments of your life, although they may not be able to make every single event you should see a considered effort on their part. A good friend is there to support you during hard times as well as the good times. A good friend accepts your flaws and loves you for who you are. Even when they don't agree with you a good friend will always be there.
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