WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT FORGIVENESS
Forgiveness is one of the hardest things that we may have to do as christians. It hurts when we have to forgive, especially if the person doesn't deserve it, however, in the end we suffer more than the other person when you choose not to forgive. Unforgiveness is a silent killer that destroys you over time. The more you hold on to the pain you become bitter, angry, resentful, and eventually it leads to hatred, at this point unforgiveness has the power to destroy you, your dreams, your family and those that are closes to you and also keep you eternally separated from God.
In Mark 17:3-4 Christ teaches on how important it is to forgive. He told His disciples, If your brother sins against you, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day return to you saying, I repent, you shall forgive him. Christ was emphasizing that forgiveness is so important for you, that even to the degree that a person hurts you, says sorry, then continue to turn around and hurt you over and over again, it is still necessary to forgive them because in the end unforgiveness will destroy you before it destroy the other person. Although forgiveness is contrary to our human nature, it is vital for our salvation and freedom in Christ. It is impossible to experience salvation and freedom in Christ while holding on to unforgiveness. In fact Christ says in order for us to be forgiven by God we have to forgive others.
So its safe to say that forgiveness is for your benefit and if you stick with the process you won't regret it in the long run. As you go through your forgiveness process I want to share with you four things that you should know about forgiveness to help you in your process of forgiving.
FOUR THINGS YOU SHOULD DO IN THE PROCESS OF FORGIVENESS
1.) Invite God in.
As I mentioned earlier it is not in our human nature to forgive. We have limitations and we can only take so much of pain before we reach our breaking point. When someone hurts you nothing in you truly wants to forgive that person. Its okay. Be honest with God about your struggles and allow Him in weak moments and then trust Him with your healing process. God will give you the Grace you need to see you through this. In our weakness He is strong. Spend time in His presence as much as you can The bible says in his presence we are complete.
2.)Its a process
Forgiveness isn't something that you feel and see a change with right away. Its a process. A lot of times we want to rush through the healing process so that the pain can go away, however, that doesn't make the pain go away, it only suppress it. It takes time to forgive, so its important that you be realistic about the process. Don't rush it. Don't avoid it. Go through it. Be honest about your struggles and be gentle with yourself. It maybe years after someone has hurt you, you may think about that pain and feel angry and bitter all over again. Its okay. It doesn't mean that you haven't forgiven, it means that you are going through the process. As long as you are intentional about forgiving eventually God will set you will be free.
3.) Guard your heart.
Identify areas that are triggering those negative emotions and are keeping you from forgiving the person who hurt you, and then place boundaries. You may need to deny that person access to your life, this includes blocking them on the phone and social media platforms. You may need to stop entertaining things that reminds you of that pain, it could be thought patterns, certain television shows, certain conversations, certain people, you may even have to pull back from the person for a while until you gain clarity on how to move forward. It's important to guard your heart, so that you won't set back in the process of forgiving so that you can heal and move forward.
4.) Understand that its working for your good.
Forgiveness doesn't feel rewarding in the beginning. It may feel like you are letting the other person off the hook while you're suffering. It can also feel like you are allowing that person to treat you like a doormat. This is not the case. God is too good to allow you to be treated like a doormat. God doesn't allow our pain to go to waste. He takes all of our bad situations and uses it to shape and make us more like Him. You may not like the fact that it hurts but, God is going to take this situation and use it to bring the best out of you so that He can bless you. There are blessings and promises that are connected to forgiveness (psalm 110:1, matthew 6:14, romans 8:28) trust that forgiveness is for your best interest. Think about the ways that you are growing and becoming a better person by choosing to forgive and focus on that. More importantly understand that any hurt and pain that this person have inflicted on your life hasn't stop Gods plan for you. You are free to move forward and live your dreams without holding on to the past.
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